Why Being “Too A lot” Is the Secret to Higher Relationships & Much less Stress

Increase your hand when you’ve ever been instructed you’re “an excessive amount of.” Too loud. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too formidable. Too… you.

For lots of ladies, that’s the cue to start out shrinking. We tone down our voice, dim our fiery nature, and sand down the sharp, stunning edges that make us who we’re—all within the determined hope of being accepted. We study to censor our jokes, conceal our huge desires, and put a lid on our emotions as a result of we’re afraid our real selves might be rejected.

However right here’s the tough-love, liberating fact: the fixed effort to make your self smaller is exhausting … AND it’s additionally the #1 purpose you’re feeling so drained and caught in less-than-stellar relationships.

Leaning into your genuine self and proudly proudly owning your “too much-ness” is definitely your secret weapon. It’s the one strategy to construct the high-quality connections you deserve—and eventually dial down your stress for good.

The Downside With Shrinking Your self

Continuously modifying your self to be extra palatable is a one-way ticket to burnout. On prime of holding again the actual you, you’re expending a large quantity of psychological and emotional vitality to take action.

Each time you chew your tongue, fake a joke was funnier than it was, or swallow your true emotions, you’re making a withdrawal out of your treasured vitality reserves.

This creates a quiet, insidious type of stress that lives simply beneath the floor, leaving you anxious and unfulfilled—even whenever you’re surrounded by folks.

The reality? You’re primarily in a relationship with a model of you that doesn’t even exist, and the folks round you might be responding to that pretend model. That, my pal, is a recipe for deep loneliness.

Your “Too A lot-ness” Is a Relationship Filter

If you cease apologizing to your enthusiasm, ardour, or huge, typically messy emotions, one thing unimaginable occurs: you begin attracting your soulmate relationships.

Friendships

This implies discovering soul-sisters who don’t simply tolerate your wild concepts—they’re those who say, “YES! And what if we did this subsequent?!” They cheer to your ambition as a substitute of seeing it as a menace. These friendships go deeper than surface-level chatter since you’re absolutely seen and understood with out judgment.

Partnerships

In love, this implies discovering a associate who celebrates your quirks and loves you for the individual you might be—not the individual you fake to be. The proper associate will encourage your boldest desires and by no means ask you to shrink for his or her consolation. (Bonus: they’ll match your bizarre.)

Communities

In your bigger group, it means surrounding your self with individuals who get it. Whether or not it’s your exercise group, e book membership, or an internet house, you’ll discover circles the place your concepts are met with curiosity and pleasure, not well mannered nods and fast topic adjustments.

If you present up as your full, unapologetic self, you’re sending a transparent sign: That is who I’m. Take it or depart it. And the individuals who take it? They’re your folks. Those who depart? They have been by no means meant for you anyway—and also you simply saved your self a ton of wasted time and vitality.

Why Proudly owning Your Genuine Self Reduces Stress

Embracing your “too much-ness” can be one of the crucial highly effective types of self-care. It’s a direct path to much less stress and extra peace.

If you’re not policing each phrase you say or emotion you’re feeling, you unlock large quantities of psychological bandwidth.

• As a substitute of agonizing over whether or not it is best to ship your pal that nerdy article you liked—you simply ship it, they usually get excited too.

• As a substitute of hiding your huge enterprise concept—you share it, and immediately the correct connection seems.

• As a substitute of swallowing your frustration in a relationship—you talk your wants, and your associate rises to fulfill you.

That is what dwelling authentically looks like. It’s radical self-trust—and it not solely strengthens your relationships, it strengthens your relationship with your self.

Cease Shrinking, Begin Thriving

Being “an excessive amount of” shouldn’t be a flaw—it’s proof that you’ve got a robust mild to share with the world. Hiding it solely creates extra stress and loneliness.

Your distinctive mix of enthusiasm, empathy, and ambition is the very factor that may entice your folks.

So cease shrinking. Begin shining. And watch each your relationships and your peace of thoughts flourish.

What’s one a part of your self you’ve been holding again that you just’re able to lastly share with the world? – Alex

Need a Protected House to Be Absolutely You?

In case you’re prepared to fulfill your soul household TODAY and begin training full expression in a secure teaching house, my Unfuckwittable Membership is the proper place. There’s even a complete module on this very matter—so you’ll be able to apply it in actual life and really feel grounded whilst you do it. Learn more and join our powerful community here.